I gave up on trying to find words or woo my muse, and went to soak in a hot bubble bath, which is apparently just what I needed because while I was reclining against my chenille bath pillow reading about three generations of Swedish mothers and daughters, I realized that I needed to stop whining about inspiration, and just write.

To that end (and with thanks to a LiveJournal friend who mentioned the community) I’ve become a member of Novel in 90, which is a writing community designed for people who have jobs and lives and don’t fit into the NaNoWriMo mold. There are no forums to distract you, you are encouraged to work on multiple projects, and meet other deadlines, while still averaging 750 words/day of your novel in question. The word-count posts (daily and weekly) are the only real accountability – mockery if you don’t meet your goal the only penalty. It’s just enough external motivation for someone like me who doesn’t want to be bothered chatting or attending parties, and writes every day ANYWAY.

I’m not certain it will help. But it’s a new year, and it seemed like a good idea.

Estás perdiendo el tiempo
Pensando, pensando
Por lo que más tú quieras
¿Hasta cuándo? ¿Hasta cuándo?

I have written in the blog, and written for work, but with the exception of a scene I wrote the other night, then tossed, I haven’t written anything for myself since before Christmas. Oh, I participated in Holidailies, and one of my entries, Resting States, even made it to the “Best of…” list, but I feel stale, and in need of a jump-start.

I like that I’m making money from writing, but I feel stale, and tired, and while I know part of that is just post-holiday let-down, and another part is lack of sleep, worry over my dog, and nursing a cold/flu thing, another part is that I can’t connect with my muse. I feel like she’s flirting with me, and answering a coy “Perhaps,” when I ask if she’ll return.

This isn’t a plea for inspiration, so much as a venting of old air.

But if you see my muse, tell her there’s chocolate involved if she returns.